Resolutions

If you're a church leader, struggling in a not-so-good situation, here are a few suggestions for new years resolutions...

1) take the power away from your deacons...yes, it is Biblical.

2) stop looking at your pastors and staff as primarily "employees". stop looking at everyone else in your church as your "employers".

3) tell the rich family in the church who thinks they decide everything that God doesn't want their money, and neither do you.

4) stop viewing the church down the street as your competition.

5) stop investing 95% of your work week into what happens during one hour on Sunday morning.

6) change your bylaws so that you no longer have business meetings...also Biblical.

7) stop being scared of what people think...fear the Lord.

8) stop saying "ever member is a minister"...start saying "every member is a missionary".

9) give responsibility to the people to do the ministry...stop micromanaging.

10) refuse to "work" overtime when you should be spending that time with your family...as a PK, I can't tell you how important this is.

Christmas as a Season of Worship

At Nags Head Church, our goal every Christmas is to challenge people to not fall into the trap of nostalgia. Too often, when it comes to Christmas music, we tend to sing more because of those warm fuzzy feelings than to actually worship God (for more on this topic, read my post about "The Problem with Christmas Music and the Church").

So, instead of just playing the same old Christmas classics every year, we attempt to put together a setlist that includes songs from all three of the following:

1) Old songs with a new arrangement or a few new lyrics.
These songs can challenge people to not just go through the motions of singing a familiar song without thinking about what they're singing. It makes the worn and old seem fresh and new.
2) New Christmas songs.
Too many worship leaders see the Christmas season as a time to mentally check out and give their bands a break from learning new music...a shame since there are so many great new Christmas songs being written by people like MercyMe, Chris Tomlin and others. New Christmas songs can help your church create new traditions.
3) Worship songs that may not have been specifically written as Christmas songs.
Too many Christmas carols are seen by many people as tradition and not worship. Challenge your people to think about Christmas as an incredible time to worship by painting a picture of the Christmas story with "worship" songs that you might also be singing at other times of the year.

With those things in mind, here are some of the songs that we're using this Christmas season (along with the authors, in case you want to give them a listen).

Angels From The Realms of Glory - Downhere
How Many Kings - Downhere
Gloria - MercyMe
Glory in the Highest - Chris Tomlin (We actually have been using this song as a Christmas song for several years before Chris wrote the third Christmas verse a year ago)
Joy to the World (Unspeakable Joy) - Chris Tomlin
My Soul Magnifies the Lord - Chris Tomlin
Rejoice - Chris Tomlin (we also add the chorus from "O Come, O Come Emmanuel")
O Praise Him - David Crowder
Shout for Joy - Lincoln Brewster
O Come Let Us Adore Him - Matt Redman/Passion

What are some songs that you're using this Christmas to point your people toward worship?

Nate

(Bump) The Problem with Christmas Music and The Church

This is a post I wrote in November of '07...I thought I'd bump it in case anyone missed it.

I love Christmas music. I began listening to "Jingle Bells" and "O Holy Night" several weeks ago. The way I see it, the department stores (and their incredibly early commercialism) are finally catching up to my family and our traditions. My mother would pull out the Christmas music well before Thanksgiving, and we had a very nice collection. Old records of Bing and Nat, updated classics with Steven Curtis Chapman and Amy Grant, and even a little bit of the Trans-Siberian Orchestra filled our house and car with the sounds of the season.

Anytime I hear any of those recordings, or even any recording of some of those songs, a warm and welcome sense of nostalgia causes a flood of memories to flash through my mind. Christmas music is such a beautiful and fun part of Americana...no doubt everyone has distinct memories of Christmases past (whether good or bad), and, my guess is that most of us relate many of our Christmas memories with the music of the season.

And, therein lies the problem with Christmas music and the Church. I've discovered over the years that, it's very easy for us to sing our favorite Christmas carols at church in December and never allow for anything more than that warm nostalgic feeling. We can get so caught up in the warm feelings that worship never really takes place...worship is our primary purpose when we gather together on Sunday mornings, not singing Christmas songs.

And, I think this problem goes way beyond Sunday mornings. Christmas (or any holiday season for that matter) can, as a whole, seem more like a nostalgic and whimsical dream than a reality. The commercials, the movies, the shopping, the parties, the food and drinks...it's a huge thing that can seem to pull us out of our everyday lives, including our everyday worship. Singing songs, hanging out with friends, giving gifts, and even reading the Christmas story (Jesus) can become the ultimate goal instead of means to a greater end. (that's partly why January can feel like such a depressing month).

I've discovered some ways to help our people (including myself) understand how to worship during the Christmas season. But, first, have you ever thought about this or recognized this in your church before? What are some ways that you use the nostalgia and joy of the season to point people back to worship?

Nate

More on Distractions in Church

I certainly don't expect every church to function the way that our church functions. Every culture, every community, every target group is different, and therefore, every church should decide for for herself the best way to "do church". My thoughts and opinions come out of my own experiences, come from the purpose, vision and strategy of my own church.

"You're welcome at our church."

"You're not welcome to cause a distraction to others when you have the ability and maturity to control said distraction."

At NHC, these are two things that we communicate to people, both in word and action. We believe that these two statements are not contradictory. We believe that these two statements better allow us to fulfill our purpose as a church, to reach people to discover life in Christ.

We also believe that there is a HUGE difference between parents who don't care about the distraction they are allowing and those people who come to church because they want to know God but may cause a distraction to others because of their natural tendencies. There will always be something that could be a distraction to me during a church worship service. The lady behind me sings off-pitch, the guys beside me smells funny, the couple in front of me plays footsies. But, it's my responsibility to not allow the natural distractions around me to keep me from worshipping God.

But, it is also my responsibility to be aware of my own naturally distracting habits. I like to bounce my legs when I sit, I like to fiddle with things in my hands when I'm listening, I like to move when I sing. However, corporate worship is not about me...corporate worship is about US giving worship to GOD, and I realize that simply doing what I want to do (bouncing my legs, etc.) can be a hindrance to the worship of those around me.

On Sunday mornings, I want my worship to be pleasing to God AND unifying to those around me. This means that I've got to be willing to lay aside my personal preferences and attempt to subdue my naturally annoying habits so that I don't distract others in worship. I certainly hope that those around me do the same, but I also realize that the people around me represent the spectrum of the spiritual journey...those who are maybe in church and hearing about God for the first time, and those who have known God intimately for many years...other people may not always smell, or look or act in a way that I find pleasing, but again, I can't allow that to distract me from worship.

But, as a church leader, it is also my responsibility to address those who choose to be or allow a distraction that prohibits others from worshipping. Whether we want to admit it or not, there are distractions in church that are impossible to ignore. Children, to continue to use the example I wrote about before, are not a distraction. Noisy, energetic, unattended, ill-mannered children CAN be an unignorable distraction.

We seek to be proactive in avoiding any possible distractions in worship. We make our nursery and kids church highly visible to everyone who enters our building. We have greeters who target young families and inform them of the options for their children. We invite young families to sit near the back of our auditorium so that they can limit any distractions their children might cause, and so that they can exit easily if necessary. We inform families with young children early in the service that many of the topics we discuss on Sunday morning are sensitive issues (sex, addiction, etc.) and give them one last shot to make use of our Kids Zone.

Nobody looks down on any family who chooses to bring their children into the auditorium. Nobody gives them a guilt trip. We have never had a family communicate anything but appreciation for our commitment to helping their entire family worship God.

And, when a child (or anything for that matter) becomes an ignorable distraction during a service, our ushers quietly invite their parents to follow them to the lobby where the parents can allow their kids to vent some energy AND still listen to the service. We have never once had a family refuse to exit the auditorium OR become upset with us that we asked them to exit.

In fact, just this past Sunday, one of our ushers did just that, and ended up having a long conversation with the family. They are new to our area and were checking out our church for the first time. He gave them a tour of our building and our Kids Zone and explained to them why family is so important to NHC.

Bottom line...they felt welcomed and valued. Those still in the auditorium also felt welcomed and valued (as did our preacher). Our usher made a much deeper connection with this family than he ever would have if he had not invited them into the lobby. And, their kids were able to see what they were missing in our Kids Zone.

Again, there are many different ways that we can worship God in a corporate setting. And, at NHC, there are many opportunities for parents and children to worship God together, far beyond Sunday morning. But, for our church, Sunday morning worship in our auditorium is targeted at adults who are seeking to learn more about God and grow in Him. Any kind of ignorable distraction simply prohibits that from taking place.

You might think that we're unwelcoming and unfriendly to families, but until you understand our strategy from an experiential point of view, it's hard to make that call. I'd love to discuss this further with anyone, which is why I wrote this second post.

Nate

Commitment

Working with students is incredibly fun, and incredibly challenging. Not that us adults are perfect, but one of the biggest frustrations I've dealt with in working with students in the lack of commitment. Although they might be passionate about the ministry, the lack of experience and maturity can cause some issues when it comes to making a commitment. Here are some things that I've been trying to teach our students to help them mature in their ability to commit.

1) Consider carefully before making a commitment.

Even if it seems like a simple, menial task, if you've committed to doing it, somebody (more than likely, somebodies) is going to depend on you to get it done, so don't commit to something unless you know for certain (short of a real emergency) that you'll be able to do it.

Before you make a commitment, here are three key factors you should consider:
a) Check your calendar and check your spouse's/parents' calendar. If you don't keep a calendar, you shouldn't be committing to anything.
b) Ask questions and get all of the facts before you commit. Do I know all of the info? What time, energy, preparation will this require of me?
c) Is this something I really want to do? There are times when we SHOULD do things that we don't exactly want to do...BUT, people tend to be much more committed to the things that they sincerely are excited about participating in.

It's OK to say "no" sometimes. It's not OK to stretch yourself thin because you say "yes" to everything...which leads us to our second point.

2) Remember your priorities.

Do you have a list of the priorities in your life? My priority list, starting with the most important, looks something like: God, Family, Friends, Church, etc. If I'm asked to do something that doesn't match up with my priorities, I probably don't need to make that commitment. For example, if I'm asked to do something related to church that forces me to miss out on the quality time I need with my family, I'll want to consider that commitment carefully. If I'm invited to participate in something with my friends that will cause my relationship with God to suffer, that's a commitment I probably shouldn't make.

3) Stick to it.

The definition of "commitment" is: a pledge or promise; and obligation.

I'm not crazy about committing to things that I know I won't enjoy, but sometimes, you've got to do what you've got to do. Even when a commitment becomes an obligation, it's still honoring of God to follow through, with a good attitude. Any commitment you make to another person is a commitment you're making to God.

...you have heard that it was said to the people long ago, "Do not break your oath, but keep the oaths you have made to the Lord." Simply let your "Yes" be "Yes," and your "No" be "No"; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.
Matthew 5:37

There are very few things that will either build up or tear down your reputation and witness than your level of commitment. What you commit to says a whole lot about your priorities, about your character, about your faith. As do the commitments you break.

My favorite people to serve alongside in ministry are not always the people with the prettiest face or the most talent...my favorite people are those who I can count on, those people who are dependable.

Nate

A Question for the Parents

To all parents of young children, I ask you this question:

What is of greater importance to you? That you teach your children to be in church every Sunday, or that you teach your children to love God?

I'm not saying that those two priorities can't coexist. Certainly both are important. But, it is very easy to give church attendance the greater priority and end up with a grown child who neither attends church nor loves God.

Too often at Nags Head Church, I observe parents who refuse to allow their young children to either be cared for by our brilliant nursery staff or be taught by our awesome Kids Zone staff...instead, these parents bring their kids into the worship center with the adults, and, nine times out of ten, neither the children nor the parents (nor any of the others around them) get much of anything out of the worship gathering.

Let's be real...how many kids under the age of 12 do you know who are engaged by 30+ minutes of adult teaching on a Sunday morning? How many parents of those same kids do you know who can sit with their kids in an adult worship setting and stay focused on the message? How many people do you know who enjoy sitting in a worship gathering with a crying child nearby?

I don't know about you, but when I was ten, I couldn't behave myself in an adult worship gathering for more than about fifteen minutes. As a parent of a highly energetic 2.5 year old, there's no way I'd be focused on anything but keeping her entertained and quiet. As an adult, I simply cannot focus on worship when another person's child is unable to contain his/her energy.

Please, understand that I'm not bashing on kids...kids are kids, and even the most well behaved, well trained children simply cannot engage in a meaningful way with much of what takes place in a Sunday morning, adult worship gathering. And, that's OK. What's not OK is parents who don't seem to understand how selfish it is to force their children into that situation.

From what I've observed, the vast majority of parents would do better for themselves and their kids (and the others attending church) if they would just stay at home and lead their family in their own little worship time than to bring their kids to church and not take advantage of the nursery and kids church that has been provided to them. Seriously...it just doesn't make any sense to me.

My point is this...if your going to take the time to get up on a Sunday morning, get everyone fed and dressed and into the car and onto church, why not actually make it mean something more than a religious ritual? If you're going to make it a priority to teach your children the importance of attending church, why not allow them to attend a worship gathering that is geared for their age group?

If you can't trust other adults to care for and teach your kids for a short period of time, please, stay home this Sunday.
If you can't bear the thought of leaving your child in a nursery or class room for an hour on Sunday morning, please, stay at home this Sunday.
If you think that your young kids are better behaved than that and won't cause a distraction, please, stay at home this Sunday.
If you've convinced yourself that others in church really won't mind if your kids run around the back of the worship center during the sermon, please, stay at home this Sunday.

I love attending my church, and I want my child to love attending my church with me...even more, I want her participation in my church to be something that motivates her to love God. That isn't going to happen if I try and force her to "sit still and be quiet" in "big church" with me.

I want my daughter to be cared for and have fun in the nursery, learning to play with other kids her age. When she's a few years older, I want her to be engaged in authentic worship and taught by adults who have been given the tools and training to help her understand and love God more. And, when she's ready, I want her to join me in an adult setting so that we can worship God together on Sunday morning.

Because, if, at the end of Sunday morning all you can say is, "We attended church", you've truly accomplished nothing more than that.

Storytellers

Here's the graphic for our new sermon series. I'm really stoked about this series! I'll admit that I stole the idea from Elevation, although the direction of our series is totally different than Elevation's series.

Nate

The Problem with "The Invitation"

Our youth band was asked to play a few songs at another local church last night. This other church is having their annual "revival" this week, and Sunday night was their youth night. They brought in a well-known "evangelist" (a bit of a local celebrity) to preach for this revival.

I'll not share the name of this church or the name of this evangelist, because the purpose of this post is not to criticize this church or this man. I simply want to critically examine some of his methods.

After speaking for nearly an hour for a room full of students and adults, the evangelist invited everyone to bow their heads and close their eyes. After talking about salvation for a few more minutes, he invited folks to repeat a prayer and receive Christ. All good so far, but what took place over the next 15 minutes or so is where I really became uncomfortable.

The evangelist then asked everyone to stand. He spent the next 2-3 minutes talking about "really meaning it"...he really hammered home the idea that, unless the people asking Jesus to "come into their hearts" really meant it, nothing would "change" for them. After telling everyone else to keep their eyes closed several times, he then asked for all those who had said the prayer and "really meant it" to come forward.

I didn't dare look up at this point, even though I was sitting on the back row, so I can only assume that there were several youth who came forward, and maybe a few adults. Once these people were up front, he told them to all hold hands in a circle. Apparently there were a few students who weren't to keen on this idea (I'm assuming they were boys), because he said, more than once, "I know you don't want to, but you have to hold hands".

Once he was satisfied that they were all touching each others hands, he said, "God's telling me that there are some adults in this room who have said this prayer but haven't come forward, so we're going to all pray that they will come forward." He asked us all to pray with him (I didn't, sorry), while he said something to the effect of, "God, take away the spirit of fear that is keeping these adults from coming forward". I think maybe one or two more adults came forward at this point, but I'm not sure, because I still wasn't willing to look up.

Somewhere in the middle of all of this, the evangelist paused and addressed at least two of the boys who had come forward..."I'm sorry, but I can't handle the laughing...you boys have been laughing since you came up here, which tells me that you really don't mean this...if that's true, you should go sit back down."

Once he had everyone up who was going to come up (at this point, we'd had our eyes closed for about 10 minutes), he went on to explain how he sould never forget the night he accepted Jesus, and how he wanted these people to not ever forget this night either. He then spent about 5 minutes talking to these people about how, now that they had made the decision to follow Jesus, they had to give him their "whole heart". He also talked about how they had to read their Bible everyday. He made each one of them promise to read their Bible everyday.

Everyone else may have been looking up to the front of the sanctuary at this point...my head was still bowed...I tend to look at the ground when I'm feeling uncomfortable or angry...

Finally, after the evangelist had apparently said all he wanted to say and had gotten all of the verbal commitments he could out of these people, he ended in prayer. At the end of his prayer, I finally looked up to see that there were probably close to 20 students and at least a few adults returning to their seats. In a room of maybe 100 people, that's a pretty big number.

Anyway, there is the story. Here are my thoughts:

First of all, let me just say, if you're going to spend more than 20 minutes to share the Gospel with a room full of teens (on a school night), you'd better be incredibly dynamic. Unfortunately, and I can say this because I've heard this particular evangelist speak more than once, he's not dynamic enough to pull that off. IMHO, people who get up in church to preach should spend more time checking out the words (and length) of Jesus' "sermons" in the NT. Jesus usually kept it short and on point, and he had miracles to fall back on if his topic was a bit boring. But, onto more serious thoughts.

The idea that a come-forward invitation does anything for anyone's salvation is beyond me. I've heard many stories of people who have gone forward in a church because the preacher told them to but didn't actually come to Jesus until a later time, but never once have I heard of anyone who, after saying a prayer, only came to Jesus because they walked forward in a church service.

What I do know is, asking people to come forward in a church service makes most people very, very uncomfortable. Making people feel incredibly (and unnecessarily) uncomfortable at the exact moment they could be speaking with God for the very first time is probably something that makes Satan very, very happy. That's not right.

My guess is, those boys who were laughing were probably laughing because they were either incredibly nervous about being in front of everyone, because they were nervous about having this evangelist guilt them into doing and saying things they weren't comfortable doing and saying, or because they were being forced to hold hands with each other (and maybe even with a girl). And, calling a few 11 year old boys out in front of everyone is certainly not going to makethem respect an evangelist or God.

I also know, from experience, that asking a student to come forward is a great way to get a very unclear idea of who is actually making a decision and who is just bowing to peer pressure. I can't tell you how many times I've been to a student conference or church service with an invitation and have seen who knows how many students walk forward just because they got caught up in the emotion of the moment and wanted to stick with their best friend who was also walking forward.

Requiring (and again, this evangelist spent at least 5 minutes guilting people into coming forward) people to do anything other than call out to God for salvation in order to "be saved" really, really messes with people's heads. It is faith alone that saves...forcing people to not only come forward, but to also hold hands with each other, to promise to give their "whole hearts" to God and to look the evangelist in the eye and promise to read their Bible everyday is really muddying the water. All of those things might be good and well at certain times and in certain steps, but people must understand from what you tell them and from what you ask of them that salvation begins and ends with faith.

Certainly there's a better way of doing things? Certainly there's a way to share the Gospel, lead people to the point of accepting Christ, and be able to speak with them individually and connect them with that local church without creating an incredibly awkward and uncomfortable atmosphere?

BTW, just so you know I'm not anonymously attacking this evangelist personally, I am sending him an email with some of my thoughts here (although, I'll word it more sensitively) and an invitation to contact me, and I will continue to pray for his ministry. From what I know of him, he's pretty set in his ways, but I'll give it a go anyway.

Nate

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Sunday Blitz

> It was very evident that the time change snuck up on people this Sunday. The 11am gathering was probably twice as busy as 9am. I'm guessing that people either forgot until after the woke up, or they just decided to catch up on the lost hour of sleep and come at 11. Not that it really had any impact on 9am...the people who were there came ready to worship!

> After Andy and Steve did a great job tag-teaming last Sunday, Tom spoke with us this week about "serving" God and others in ministry. Ministry is worship. Ministry should be fun and bring us success and satisfaction. Every believer has a place in serving the church.

> the MP13 Band has been learning a bunch of new songs lately. We introduced "Send Me Out" by Fee last Sunday, and "With Everything" by Hillsong this week. Look for both songs this coming Sunday to help us worship during our annual missions fair.

> I've been busy the past few weeks. I led our teaching time at F1RST Wednesday two weeks ago, and Andy and I taught our Discovering Nags Head Church CLASS this past Saturday. Both went very well!

> Congrats to Mike (our First Impressions team leader) and Tina (our Kids Zone team leader) on the birth of their second child and first boy. They'll both be taking some time off from ministry, but I'm guessing with the great job they do coaching their teams, ministry will cary on as with excellence.

> Good Friday and Easter are quickly approaching. It's a busy time for NHC...along with F1RST Wednesday we'll be offering 5 worship gatherings in the span of 5 days during that first week of April. Lots of opportunities to reach people to discover life in Christ!

> Go DUKE!

Nate