I've been thinking about That all day...not like every second, because I did have a great day with my wife and daughter...but it's been, at least, on the back of my mind all day. Maybe getting a few more thoughts down on paper may help me to move on and focus. Again, although this is related to the particular situation that went down this past weekend, I'm trying to think and write in generalities that will help me keep my nose clean.
> I have no idea why any man in church leadership (or in any leadership outside the church, for that matter) would invite a woman to be his "personal assistant". If a pastor absolutely needs a personal assistant, isn't the obvious choice to invite a guy? Beyond all of the sexual crap that can be avoided, church leaders should be looking for opportunities to mentor younger men, and what better way to do so than to have a personal assistant (maybe that's what we used to call "disciples"?) at your side? Not to mention, I couldn't imagine having the guts to tell my wife that I'd just hired a woman to spend hours a week "assisting" me in my ministry...yikes!
> I must be so careful how I communicate with the opposite sex, especially via the internet. Again, big screw ups don't happen overnight, and often, in this modern culture, they begin and are fueled via online communication. Whether email, twitter, facebook, texting, etc., I've got to be willing to limit who I communicate with on a very personal level and how I communicate with them. I know some church leaders who even have a personal policy not to have any facebook friends who are young, single females, just to avoid all appearances and temptations of evil. As a former, single, college student, I know how easy it is to flirt, even "innocently", with the opposite sex online...not something I want to even come close to as a married man. If my wife wants to look at my facebook private messages, I shouldn't have anything to hide.
> I must be incredibly careful how I talk about the opposite sex, especially via the internet. Living "above reproach" means that I don't give anyone any reason to doubt my character should a rumor or slanderous piece of gossip start going around about me. If I'm ever accused of anything morally questionable, I never want anyone to be able to say in honesty that they heard or read me say/write something innappropriate about a woman. If you ever hear me say that any woman is "hot", I'd better be talking about my wife.
> I have got to learn how to kill (ie. let God kill) my ego if I'm going to be in ministry. Again, if I'm ever accused of anything, I don't want arrogant and insensitive things I've said and written (and the stuff I say and write comes out of my heart and mind) to come back and give people reason to question me further. From emails, to twitter updates, to blog comments, I've got to learn to say everything with love and grace and encouragement, even if what I'm saying comes from great conviction. Transparency can be a good thing, but not if my heart is always filled with ego and pride.
Thanks for listening...I think I can get to sleep now...