A Question for the Parents

To all parents of young children, I ask you this question:

What is of greater importance to you? That you teach your children to be in church every Sunday, or that you teach your children to love God?

I'm not saying that those two priorities can't coexist. Certainly both are important. But, it is very easy to give church attendance the greater priority and end up with a grown child who neither attends church nor loves God.

Too often at Nags Head Church, I observe parents who refuse to allow their young children to either be cared for by our brilliant nursery staff or be taught by our awesome Kids Zone staff...instead, these parents bring their kids into the worship center with the adults, and, nine times out of ten, neither the children nor the parents (nor any of the others around them) get much of anything out of the worship gathering.

Let's be real...how many kids under the age of 12 do you know who are engaged by 30+ minutes of adult teaching on a Sunday morning? How many parents of those same kids do you know who can sit with their kids in an adult worship setting and stay focused on the message? How many people do you know who enjoy sitting in a worship gathering with a crying child nearby?

I don't know about you, but when I was ten, I couldn't behave myself in an adult worship gathering for more than about fifteen minutes. As a parent of a highly energetic 2.5 year old, there's no way I'd be focused on anything but keeping her entertained and quiet. As an adult, I simply cannot focus on worship when another person's child is unable to contain his/her energy.

Please, understand that I'm not bashing on kids...kids are kids, and even the most well behaved, well trained children simply cannot engage in a meaningful way with much of what takes place in a Sunday morning, adult worship gathering. And, that's OK. What's not OK is parents who don't seem to understand how selfish it is to force their children into that situation.

From what I've observed, the vast majority of parents would do better for themselves and their kids (and the others attending church) if they would just stay at home and lead their family in their own little worship time than to bring their kids to church and not take advantage of the nursery and kids church that has been provided to them. Seriously...it just doesn't make any sense to me.

My point is this...if your going to take the time to get up on a Sunday morning, get everyone fed and dressed and into the car and onto church, why not actually make it mean something more than a religious ritual? If you're going to make it a priority to teach your children the importance of attending church, why not allow them to attend a worship gathering that is geared for their age group?

If you can't trust other adults to care for and teach your kids for a short period of time, please, stay home this Sunday.
If you can't bear the thought of leaving your child in a nursery or class room for an hour on Sunday morning, please, stay at home this Sunday.
If you think that your young kids are better behaved than that and won't cause a distraction, please, stay at home this Sunday.
If you've convinced yourself that others in church really won't mind if your kids run around the back of the worship center during the sermon, please, stay at home this Sunday.

I love attending my church, and I want my child to love attending my church with me...even more, I want her participation in my church to be something that motivates her to love God. That isn't going to happen if I try and force her to "sit still and be quiet" in "big church" with me.

I want my daughter to be cared for and have fun in the nursery, learning to play with other kids her age. When she's a few years older, I want her to be engaged in authentic worship and taught by adults who have been given the tools and training to help her understand and love God more. And, when she's ready, I want her to join me in an adult setting so that we can worship God together on Sunday morning.

Because, if, at the end of Sunday morning all you can say is, "We attended church", you've truly accomplished nothing more than that.

Storytellers

Here's the graphic for our new sermon series. I'm really stoked about this series! I'll admit that I stole the idea from Elevation, although the direction of our series is totally different than Elevation's series.

Nate

The Problem with "The Invitation"

Our youth band was asked to play a few songs at another local church last night. This other church is having their annual "revival" this week, and Sunday night was their youth night. They brought in a well-known "evangelist" (a bit of a local celebrity) to preach for this revival.

I'll not share the name of this church or the name of this evangelist, because the purpose of this post is not to criticize this church or this man. I simply want to critically examine some of his methods.

After speaking for nearly an hour for a room full of students and adults, the evangelist invited everyone to bow their heads and close their eyes. After talking about salvation for a few more minutes, he invited folks to repeat a prayer and receive Christ. All good so far, but what took place over the next 15 minutes or so is where I really became uncomfortable.

The evangelist then asked everyone to stand. He spent the next 2-3 minutes talking about "really meaning it"...he really hammered home the idea that, unless the people asking Jesus to "come into their hearts" really meant it, nothing would "change" for them. After telling everyone else to keep their eyes closed several times, he then asked for all those who had said the prayer and "really meant it" to come forward.

I didn't dare look up at this point, even though I was sitting on the back row, so I can only assume that there were several youth who came forward, and maybe a few adults. Once these people were up front, he told them to all hold hands in a circle. Apparently there were a few students who weren't to keen on this idea (I'm assuming they were boys), because he said, more than once, "I know you don't want to, but you have to hold hands".

Once he was satisfied that they were all touching each others hands, he said, "God's telling me that there are some adults in this room who have said this prayer but haven't come forward, so we're going to all pray that they will come forward." He asked us all to pray with him (I didn't, sorry), while he said something to the effect of, "God, take away the spirit of fear that is keeping these adults from coming forward". I think maybe one or two more adults came forward at this point, but I'm not sure, because I still wasn't willing to look up.

Somewhere in the middle of all of this, the evangelist paused and addressed at least two of the boys who had come forward..."I'm sorry, but I can't handle the laughing...you boys have been laughing since you came up here, which tells me that you really don't mean this...if that's true, you should go sit back down."

Once he had everyone up who was going to come up (at this point, we'd had our eyes closed for about 10 minutes), he went on to explain how he sould never forget the night he accepted Jesus, and how he wanted these people to not ever forget this night either. He then spent about 5 minutes talking to these people about how, now that they had made the decision to follow Jesus, they had to give him their "whole heart". He also talked about how they had to read their Bible everyday. He made each one of them promise to read their Bible everyday.

Everyone else may have been looking up to the front of the sanctuary at this point...my head was still bowed...I tend to look at the ground when I'm feeling uncomfortable or angry...

Finally, after the evangelist had apparently said all he wanted to say and had gotten all of the verbal commitments he could out of these people, he ended in prayer. At the end of his prayer, I finally looked up to see that there were probably close to 20 students and at least a few adults returning to their seats. In a room of maybe 100 people, that's a pretty big number.

Anyway, there is the story. Here are my thoughts:

First of all, let me just say, if you're going to spend more than 20 minutes to share the Gospel with a room full of teens (on a school night), you'd better be incredibly dynamic. Unfortunately, and I can say this because I've heard this particular evangelist speak more than once, he's not dynamic enough to pull that off. IMHO, people who get up in church to preach should spend more time checking out the words (and length) of Jesus' "sermons" in the NT. Jesus usually kept it short and on point, and he had miracles to fall back on if his topic was a bit boring. But, onto more serious thoughts.

The idea that a come-forward invitation does anything for anyone's salvation is beyond me. I've heard many stories of people who have gone forward in a church because the preacher told them to but didn't actually come to Jesus until a later time, but never once have I heard of anyone who, after saying a prayer, only came to Jesus because they walked forward in a church service.

What I do know is, asking people to come forward in a church service makes most people very, very uncomfortable. Making people feel incredibly (and unnecessarily) uncomfortable at the exact moment they could be speaking with God for the very first time is probably something that makes Satan very, very happy. That's not right.

My guess is, those boys who were laughing were probably laughing because they were either incredibly nervous about being in front of everyone, because they were nervous about having this evangelist guilt them into doing and saying things they weren't comfortable doing and saying, or because they were being forced to hold hands with each other (and maybe even with a girl). And, calling a few 11 year old boys out in front of everyone is certainly not going to makethem respect an evangelist or God.

I also know, from experience, that asking a student to come forward is a great way to get a very unclear idea of who is actually making a decision and who is just bowing to peer pressure. I can't tell you how many times I've been to a student conference or church service with an invitation and have seen who knows how many students walk forward just because they got caught up in the emotion of the moment and wanted to stick with their best friend who was also walking forward.

Requiring (and again, this evangelist spent at least 5 minutes guilting people into coming forward) people to do anything other than call out to God for salvation in order to "be saved" really, really messes with people's heads. It is faith alone that saves...forcing people to not only come forward, but to also hold hands with each other, to promise to give their "whole hearts" to God and to look the evangelist in the eye and promise to read their Bible everyday is really muddying the water. All of those things might be good and well at certain times and in certain steps, but people must understand from what you tell them and from what you ask of them that salvation begins and ends with faith.

Certainly there's a better way of doing things? Certainly there's a way to share the Gospel, lead people to the point of accepting Christ, and be able to speak with them individually and connect them with that local church without creating an incredibly awkward and uncomfortable atmosphere?

BTW, just so you know I'm not anonymously attacking this evangelist personally, I am sending him an email with some of my thoughts here (although, I'll word it more sensitively) and an invitation to contact me, and I will continue to pray for his ministry. From what I know of him, he's pretty set in his ways, but I'll give it a go anyway.

Nate

Beth Moore Commercial

NHC is hosting the upcoming Beth Moore simulcast. Here's our in-house commercial.



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Sunday Blitz

> It was very evident that the time change snuck up on people this Sunday. The 11am gathering was probably twice as busy as 9am. I'm guessing that people either forgot until after the woke up, or they just decided to catch up on the lost hour of sleep and come at 11. Not that it really had any impact on 9am...the people who were there came ready to worship!

> After Andy and Steve did a great job tag-teaming last Sunday, Tom spoke with us this week about "serving" God and others in ministry. Ministry is worship. Ministry should be fun and bring us success and satisfaction. Every believer has a place in serving the church.

> the MP13 Band has been learning a bunch of new songs lately. We introduced "Send Me Out" by Fee last Sunday, and "With Everything" by Hillsong this week. Look for both songs this coming Sunday to help us worship during our annual missions fair.

> I've been busy the past few weeks. I led our teaching time at F1RST Wednesday two weeks ago, and Andy and I taught our Discovering Nags Head Church CLASS this past Saturday. Both went very well!

> Congrats to Mike (our First Impressions team leader) and Tina (our Kids Zone team leader) on the birth of their second child and first boy. They'll both be taking some time off from ministry, but I'm guessing with the great job they do coaching their teams, ministry will cary on as with excellence.

> Good Friday and Easter are quickly approaching. It's a busy time for NHC...along with F1RST Wednesday we'll be offering 5 worship gatherings in the span of 5 days during that first week of April. Lots of opportunities to reach people to discover life in Christ!

> Go DUKE!

Nate

Sunday Blitz

> Our pastors are continuing to do a great job teaching! Burnie did an amazing job of sharing the purpose of our connection groups this Sunday. I hear that several people talked with him and used communication cards to show their first-time interest in joining a group. That's awesome!

> Our Kids Zone teams are also doing an amazing job transitioning to their new space. Especially considering that their team leader is out for a while on maternity leave. She's done such a great job with her team, you wouldn't even realize she's gone (that's a huge compliment)!

> Our time of musical/singing worship continues to be fresh and new over the past several weeks. We've tweaked a few things in our worship gatherings, which is giving us more freedom and more time to sing our praises to God, and people are responding!

> I had a great Discovering Worship class this past Saturday! Lot's of great discussion and lots of good feedback. Excited to see people hungry to learn more about God and worship!

> F1RST Wednesday last night was amazing. I'll be posting more about that ASAP!

> Looking forward to hearing Andy and Steve tag-team the message this Sunday. I've got a video to edit for them, so I'm saying "adios!"

Nate

Sunday Blitz

> Yesterday was definitely one of the most charged worship gatherings in my 3+ years at Nags Head Church. People came worshipping to church, which is always the best way to come! With seven songs, offering, prayer, and a great message, we gave them plenty of opportunity to worship in freedom.

> Pastor Steve was filling in with the message this Sunday, continuing our series on the church, talking about tapping into the power of God by making worship personal.

> Our kids and adult leaders are getting settled into their new Kids Zone. After working out a few kinks from last Sunday, I was told things were running smoothly this week. Nothing but great reports on their new space from the kids and adults!

> Great to see some of our former church partners (members) who have moved away walk in unexpectedly at the beginning of our first gathering! I miss their presence in worship every week!

> The band nearly missed our cue to come back on stage during the second gathering...we were too busy having fun in the green room...this week, I install a new speaker so that we can listen in and not be late.

> Speaking of...NHC hosted The Green Room this past Friday. About 8 churches represented by nearly 50 people. If you missed it, you really did!

> We also hosted The Call, a student leadership conference in it's 8th year. Our youth band, Contagious, led worship while Andy taught.

> After our second gathering, I led a meeting of our Ministry Team Leaders. Lots of laughs and excitement as we discussed the Kidz Zone and other exciting things coming down the pike.

Nate

Sunday Blitz

> We officially moved into our new Kids Zone this past week! Two huge rooms for our elementary and preschool age kids. The adults cheered them on as they walked from their old rooms to their new rooms...awesome!

> Andy followed Tom with another great message, filling in for our lead pastor who is on a 3 month sabbatical. The teaching has not been lacking the past few weeks, for sure!

> With our other pastors filling in, we have a big more time during our gatherings for some other elements, including more singing/music. The band is not complaining.

> The new Kids Zone affects many of our other ministry teams, but everyone seemed to make the transition this Sunday without a hitch. Well done!

Nate

Contagious Faith

Two students began their relationship with God last night after watching these students share their stories.

Sunday Blitz!

Our lead pastor is on a three month sabbatical, so I'm committing to write my Sunday Blitz every Sunday while he's gone to replace his weekly "Sunday Flashback" posts.

> Pastor Tom kicked off a new, seven-week series today by asking the question, "How Big Is Our God?" Tom did a great job!

> Will this be the last Sunday that our Kidmo (elementary) kids meet in our office space? The rumor is we should receive our occupancy permit for our new Kid's Zone by the end of this week!

> The band did something a little different today...we combined Chris Tomlin's "How Great Is Our God" with Hillsong United's "Hallelujah (Our God Reigns)" with the classic hymn "How Great Thou Art" to give people an extended opportunity to respond to Tom's Big question.

> Awesome to know that our team leaders can take a break every now and then and their teams carry on at high gear!

> We announced this week that Nags Head Church is a satellite host site for a Beth Moore simulcast conference in April. I'm sure the ladies will have a great time.

> Looking forward to teaching my worship class next Saturday! Looks like I have about 8 people signed up.

> Pray for our students tonight during their outreach night. The Contagious band has learned a new song specifically for tonight, and three of our students will be sharing their stories of Christ on the big screen.

> My Prediction - Colts 31, Saints 24

Nate